In the world of education, we were taught women were equal. We were afforded the same grades and able to attend the same classes. The first year of college we were intimidated by the loud mouth guy who seemed to have all the answers. But we soon figured out he didn’t put in the work and his grades suffered.
Exit to law firm life, in the real world grades and class standing matter to nobody after initial hiring. You work your ass off and twice as hard as the guys. But if you actually enter into a mentoriship with a male partner, everyone whispers sexual innuendo. If you then make friends with the paralegals or secretaries because they are the women, you are seen as not having ambition. Finally you realize rainmaking and not working are what gets these incompetent guys you started with more hours. You start down that path, but the clients don’t trust what you say as much until they get to know you. They call you to pay you $300 an hour to fix a typo because you are a girl. You of course can’t go to Vegas or the clubs with them like the guys. You can lead seminars and you can win their confidence as you work with them. And you blame yourself because it must be something you have done wrong. That you just can’t bullshit and lie and treat staff like shit. Then one day, November 8, 2016 to be precise, you finally understand. The most unqualified and obnoxious guy will beat the most qualified and dignified woman for every senior professional job for a long long time. It will take generations longer to change the heads of clients. And you also realize, as you knew in the mommy wars, that half the women, wives or aspiring wives, are less for you than a lot of men. It is going to be a never ending battle.